I have been neglecting the blog, I admit this fully. I had a choice to make- either neglect the blog or neglect the kids. The kids won. They will always win, which I hope they keep in mind when it comes time to select my nursing home. Psst, Kids! I want a beautiful view and lots of light and cabana boy named Alejandro. Oh and a steady supply of Maker's Mark Manhattans. That is all.
This next bit is mostly about kids with a little bit about our new departure schedule and the decisions we've made to make cruising with a teen work. If you just read the blog to see the boat refit, now is your chance to go read something else although there will be a scintillating post quickly following this one all about plumbing. Yay for plumbing.
People often ask us how we are going to make cruising with a teenager work. The theory seems to be that teens don't want to cruise with their family seeing the world, but would rather have handy access to school, friends, internet, trendy clothes and the mall. This might be true in some cases but for us, we have made the idea of taking off to cruise work for Maura by ensuring that she gets to experience as much American teen stuff as is reasonable. Kind of like a bucket list but hopefully just the first of many in her hopefully very long life. So she has thrown herself full force into the things that interest her- choir, track, singing lessons, volunteering, summer camp, Starbucks after school on Fridays with friends and similar typical American teen activities. And then, there is the BIG compromise we made.
Maura has always been a bit of a drama queen. The negative of this has been her tendency to indulge in hyperbole and to wail and bemoan the fact that she is the ONLY person she knows who is regularly given chores to complete before she can move on to the fun stuff and to loudly exclaim that it is patently unfair that SHE has to weed the garden when we have a veritable NATURE RESERVE as a back yard. (for the record, we have a very tiny back garden). The upside is she is a very entertaining kid with a vivid imagination and a real love of putting on a show.
She has always been a big ole' ham bone within whose chest beats the heart of a drag queen. So it would come to no surprise to anyone who knows her that she began her long campaign to be allowed to participate in beauty pageants at age 7. I always answered her pleas with a resounding "NO!" My list of reasons why were good ones: 1. It rewards what you look like, not who you are. 2. I've seen the photos of what some girls wear and no way are you dressing up like a 7 year old stripper. 3. My Feminist side recoils in horror JUST BECAUSE. I mean, when I was pregnant with her I was adamant that no one purchase anything for her that was pink or was in anyway shape or form stereotypical princess fluff. The Universe having a sense of humor therefore sent me the girliest girl ever. 4. All pageant moms are crazy. And many other valid reasons.
She kept on asking and every year I said no. Then one day when were talking about the cool things we would get to do when we go sailing, she once again lamented the fact that she would never get to do pageants because while they are a big deal in the Southern US, the rest of the world is pretty much pageant free. Except for Latin America. Man do they love some sparkly dresses and big hair down there. Since I love nothing better than to throw her an unexpected curve ball, I said yes.
I said yes because I knew she would be giving up a lot for us to pursue our dream so it only seemed fair that I allow her to pursue her dream, even if its not something I would have chosen for her. We gave her some ground rules. 1. She would have to earn her entry fees through doing chores. 2. She would not be allowed to dress or behave in a Hoochie manner. (when she asked what I meant by Hoochie I told her I would know it when I see it) 3. She must keep a positive attitude and 4. She must not drink the Kool Aid (And by drinking the Kool Aid I mean thinking that her worth as a person is based on what some random judge thinks of her.) Maura kept her end of the bargain and we let her do a few pageants here and there. And she won. A lot. Pageants gave her an outlet for her talent (she is a serious classical singer) and she made friends. Her self confidence soared. I had to admit that I was prejudiced in my opinion of these things. She did well, had a lot of fun, made friends and I saw her really start to mature and she seemed to be much more positive about cruising as a family.
When Maura turned 13 she said she wanted to compete in the Miss America Outstanding Teen organization. Yes, THAT Miss America. Since due to our cruising plans, she would only get to compete this spring, I let her. Even though she wouldn't win as she was soooo young compared to the other girls (most are 15-16 and she had only been a teen for a month) I thought it would be a good experience for her to learn to work really hard for something that she knew she couldn't win. The reward for her efforts would come from within, knowing that even though the judges didn't choose her she worked hard and grew as a person. This would be a great life lesson. You may not always win, but you can always give it 100%.
Would you believe she won the Miss Burnet Outstanding Teen title? Completely shocked us all, but full credit to Maura for the hard work she put into this. So, YAY! Now what?
Now I am driving all over the State of Texas (and Texas is a BIG State) taking Maura to appearances, events and community service/volunteering opportunities. She has only had her title for 2 weeks and already life has just gotten a whole lot crazier. I am trying to juggle all the balls and keep things going because this is such a great opportunity to learn about herself, what she is capable of and to really grow as person. She has a lot more responsibilities but she also receives a whole bunch of opportunities too.
So things are a bit crazy in my world. Maura is working hard to get ready to compete at Miss Texas in June. She knows it is impossible for her win the State title because of her age but she is driven to make the best showing she possibly can. I am driving, driving, driving all over Texas. Life will settle a bit more after July and I will pick up the blogging pace just in time for us to really push through to the end of the refit. Since I believe that you finish what you started, we will be delaying our departure for a few months to March 2014 to allow Maura to fulfill her year of service. I'm not sure how the change in date and proximity of hurricane season will alter our planned route but we have a year to figure it all out.
Maura is steadfast in her determination to one day win the big one- Miss America. While I used to scoff at the idea, now I have to say "Okay. Maybe?!?! Who the heck knows and why not?"When her friends who have the same goal try to point out that she will suffer because she won't have had years of experience competing, she points out that sailing around the world is a great advantage. As she says "I'm going off to actually learn something about the world, then I am coming back to win Miss America and a few seasons on the equator means I won't need a fake bake tan." Maura says that you can still crank a winch AND wear lip gloss and you know what? She is correct- the two are not mutually exclusive. This will most likely be the only post on Maura's adventures as a Miss America Outstanding Teen title holder. First of all, this is a blog about the boat but secondly- its her story to tell, not mine. Her dream, her effort, her adventure and it should belong solely to her.
I thought it right to let you know why you aren't seeing more regular blog updates. Its because life just got a whole lot busier for a while. Don't lose faith. I will be updating you very soon indeed on plumbing and master cabin make overs and deck layouts and a few shake down cruises. We now return you to your regularly scheduled boaty boat type stuff.
This next bit is mostly about kids with a little bit about our new departure schedule and the decisions we've made to make cruising with a teen work. If you just read the blog to see the boat refit, now is your chance to go read something else although there will be a scintillating post quickly following this one all about plumbing. Yay for plumbing.
People often ask us how we are going to make cruising with a teenager work. The theory seems to be that teens don't want to cruise with their family seeing the world, but would rather have handy access to school, friends, internet, trendy clothes and the mall. This might be true in some cases but for us, we have made the idea of taking off to cruise work for Maura by ensuring that she gets to experience as much American teen stuff as is reasonable. Kind of like a bucket list but hopefully just the first of many in her hopefully very long life. So she has thrown herself full force into the things that interest her- choir, track, singing lessons, volunteering, summer camp, Starbucks after school on Fridays with friends and similar typical American teen activities. And then, there is the BIG compromise we made.
Maura has always been a bit of a drama queen. The negative of this has been her tendency to indulge in hyperbole and to wail and bemoan the fact that she is the ONLY person she knows who is regularly given chores to complete before she can move on to the fun stuff and to loudly exclaim that it is patently unfair that SHE has to weed the garden when we have a veritable NATURE RESERVE as a back yard. (for the record, we have a very tiny back garden). The upside is she is a very entertaining kid with a vivid imagination and a real love of putting on a show.
She has always been a big ole' ham bone within whose chest beats the heart of a drag queen. So it would come to no surprise to anyone who knows her that she began her long campaign to be allowed to participate in beauty pageants at age 7. I always answered her pleas with a resounding "NO!" My list of reasons why were good ones: 1. It rewards what you look like, not who you are. 2. I've seen the photos of what some girls wear and no way are you dressing up like a 7 year old stripper. 3. My Feminist side recoils in horror JUST BECAUSE. I mean, when I was pregnant with her I was adamant that no one purchase anything for her that was pink or was in anyway shape or form stereotypical princess fluff. The Universe having a sense of humor therefore sent me the girliest girl ever. 4. All pageant moms are crazy. And many other valid reasons.
She kept on asking and every year I said no. Then one day when were talking about the cool things we would get to do when we go sailing, she once again lamented the fact that she would never get to do pageants because while they are a big deal in the Southern US, the rest of the world is pretty much pageant free. Except for Latin America. Man do they love some sparkly dresses and big hair down there. Since I love nothing better than to throw her an unexpected curve ball, I said yes.
I said yes because I knew she would be giving up a lot for us to pursue our dream so it only seemed fair that I allow her to pursue her dream, even if its not something I would have chosen for her. We gave her some ground rules. 1. She would have to earn her entry fees through doing chores. 2. She would not be allowed to dress or behave in a Hoochie manner. (when she asked what I meant by Hoochie I told her I would know it when I see it) 3. She must keep a positive attitude and 4. She must not drink the Kool Aid (And by drinking the Kool Aid I mean thinking that her worth as a person is based on what some random judge thinks of her.) Maura kept her end of the bargain and we let her do a few pageants here and there. And she won. A lot. Pageants gave her an outlet for her talent (she is a serious classical singer) and she made friends. Her self confidence soared. I had to admit that I was prejudiced in my opinion of these things. She did well, had a lot of fun, made friends and I saw her really start to mature and she seemed to be much more positive about cruising as a family.
When Maura turned 13 she said she wanted to compete in the Miss America Outstanding Teen organization. Yes, THAT Miss America. Since due to our cruising plans, she would only get to compete this spring, I let her. Even though she wouldn't win as she was soooo young compared to the other girls (most are 15-16 and she had only been a teen for a month) I thought it would be a good experience for her to learn to work really hard for something that she knew she couldn't win. The reward for her efforts would come from within, knowing that even though the judges didn't choose her she worked hard and grew as a person. This would be a great life lesson. You may not always win, but you can always give it 100%.
Would you believe she won the Miss Burnet Outstanding Teen title? Completely shocked us all, but full credit to Maura for the hard work she put into this. So, YAY! Now what?
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| Photo by Kathy Whittaker- used with kind permission Hair and makeup by Rouchelle Burdick. I am seriously trying to figure out how to bring the photographer and makeup artist with us when we cruise. I think you would see a heck of a lot more photos of me. :) |
So things are a bit crazy in my world. Maura is working hard to get ready to compete at Miss Texas in June. She knows it is impossible for her win the State title because of her age but she is driven to make the best showing she possibly can. I am driving, driving, driving all over Texas. Life will settle a bit more after July and I will pick up the blogging pace just in time for us to really push through to the end of the refit. Since I believe that you finish what you started, we will be delaying our departure for a few months to March 2014 to allow Maura to fulfill her year of service. I'm not sure how the change in date and proximity of hurricane season will alter our planned route but we have a year to figure it all out.
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| Yes Maura, cruising will mean no prom photos but think of it this way- you have these gorgeous shots looking all glammed up and no awkward 17 year old boy to mess up your photos. WIN! |
I thought it right to let you know why you aren't seeing more regular blog updates. Its because life just got a whole lot busier for a while. Don't lose faith. I will be updating you very soon indeed on plumbing and master cabin make overs and deck layouts and a few shake down cruises. We now return you to your regularly scheduled boaty boat type stuff.
She's lucky to have such a great mom.
ReplyDeleteThanks George! I think I shall tell her you said this as often as necessary. ;)
DeleteShe's lucky to have such a great mom.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful Maura. Sometimes I think that if a kid knows the cost of something, that this pageant thing is a privilege and she had to fight for it and work hard, then they appreciate it more. And it really is total insanity! Good job. I love watching how you "do" family.... more than boat plumbing...
ReplyDeleteWe are big on having an "attitude of gratitude" around here. Some days I wonder if its sinking in but then I get reminders that yes, it is.
DeleteHey Maura, congrats on the title!
ReplyDeleteCyd, you know what makes the difference between hoochie pageant princesses and Outstanding Teens?
Their moms. Keep doing your work, because it's working.
Time will tell, but I sincerely hope she enters adulthood feeling that she can accomplish anything if she has the will to do the work.
DeleteWell, I'm with you sister. But I do think this seriously reminds me of us, pregnant with Andrew, telling people that our son was not going to enjoy weaponry. I fear that these things only serve to tempt the gods of fate. Somewhere in the Universe those gods are probably sitting around a table drinking beer and laughing hysterically about the cosmic jokes they've played on unwitting parents. You have your 'girlie girl' (I got one of those, too) who is turning into a beauty queen inside and out, we got our archaeology major (with emphasis in ancient weaponry) son. I know that your daughter is going to break the stereotype of the vapid beauty queen since she is part of the next wave of feminists who know how to crank the winch and look good at the same time. Go Maura! (I think this started with Chrissy Everett, who, as I recall, wore earrings on the tennis court.)
ReplyDeletePersonally, I would love to see posts about Maura's experiences, and maybe she could write them. My God, this young woman is going to be unstoppable with this experience and the cruising background. You should be very proud of her for keeping the pressure on you until you said 'yes'.
If I have gotten one life lesson out of this experience, it is to throw stereotypes out the window. Certainly as far as Miss America goes, there is no such thing as vapid queens. The organization puts such an emphasis on public speaking and academics(the big prize IS a scholarship, not a voucher for plastic surgery) that there is sort of a self selection process. The ladies who who compete in Miss America tend to be well spoken, talented and bright as well as attractive. There goes my preconceived notions out the window!
DeleteWow, Maura is doing so great!! Those photos are amazing and she is just starting. It's fun for a young woman to find a "hobby" she enjoys ESPECIALLY if it helps build self confidence. We all know how hard confidence in yourself is at age 13.
ReplyDeleteI think you are doing the right thing postponing the trip a bit. Tell Maura the people of the internet are rooting her along. Tell her to be risky and go for that which she dreams of. I mean SOMEONE has to win Miss America, why not it be her? As Donald Trump says "If you are going to dream at all, DREAM BIG".
You are a great mom.
I don't know that I am a great mom but I do try to parent with an eye to minimizing her therapy bills later...
DeleteYou are such an amazing mom and have so much more back bone than I do. I would roll my eyes and she would hate me forever. You are both gaining so much from this, and it will make you appreciate the eventual cruising even more.
ReplyDeleteI would sincerely like to meet Miss Maura some day (and you as well my friend, and Mark because of that heavenly Scottish accent.)
ReplyDeletePlease tell Maura that I firmly believe I'm looking at the next Miss American one day. Absolutely. There is something about her spirit that is so engaging. She will nail it when she tries. Cruising will only help, she is totally right about that. Also, make her keep weeding, for sure. Builds self-confidence, don't you know?
And you? Driving her around the great state of Texas? Mom-of-the-year.
If she and you can pull off both pageant contestant AND "stinky teen on a boat for three years on restricted water rations because the pump broke and DHL doesn't fly to Far Enough Lagoon"...you'll truly have squared the circle.
ReplyDeleteOur kid, 11 1/2 now, will be 13 or so when he wraps Grade 8 when we leave, as well, and with him it's "the satphone can get the Internet in the middle of the ocean, right, Dad?"
Well, yes and no. Mostly no, unless we are stepping up into the raft.
I really would have trouble getting on board the pageant express, not just because of my philosophical objections (and they are many) but because of the parental time and money commitment.
It's the equivalent of having a kid here in Canada want to play hockey into his teens. Bad coffee, thousand bucks for skates, carbon-fibre sticks and thousands of miles of winter driving is the forecast. Suddenly, half the kids think they are NHL-bound and competition, training and cost leave the fun zone and go pro.
So I hope she understands that part of the equation, even if the pageant process isn't quite the feminist horror you first suspected it might be. She probably does, but most teens need a *bit* of reminding.
Actually the Miss America system is pretty darned reasonable. Sure, you have hotel and gas for appearances but they aren't THAT frequent. She takes voice lessons anyway and entry fees were a whopping $100. When she comes back as a Miss, there are no entry fees. Each contestant raises money for the Children's Miracle Network instead of paying entry fees. Not even close to hockey territory- the ice time alone will kill ya! So long as she is doing Miss America, which puts the greatest emphasis on talent, interview and community service I am cool with it all. It really has helped her mature as a person so as long as she isn't drinking the Kool Aid, its all good.
DeleteForgot to add, Maura loves getting dressed and glammed up, but she is every bit as happy to get sweaty and stinky while sailing or camping or whatever. You'll notice that in almost every photo of her besides these, she is without makeup, in jeans that could use a wash and beat up Converse sneakers. The really awesome thing about her is that she is completely adaptable. Need her to converse politely with adults about current events in a formal setting? No problem. Need her to get her hands dirty gutting fish? No problem. Seriously the kid just ADAPTS. I have no worries about her cruising other than feeling isolated from her peers but we have that in mind and wil do what we need to make sure she feels that is not an issue. I guess that circle is in fact squared. :)
DeleteVery glad to hear of it. If you get an SSB and a Pactor modem, she can text her friends from the middle of wherever with a little technical mucking around.
ReplyDelete