Rebel Heart is not just a news item

By now everyone who is not living in a caveh as heard the news of the rescue mission to save the crew of the Rebel Heart. Armchair admirals are weighing in on the "mistakes" made by the crew. People who have never even seen a sailboat, let alone sailed have their pitchforks and torches out with screams of irresponsible parenting and demands for retribution for the crew in the form of a bill or an investigation from CPS. THEY MUST PAY!!!

For me, this is not an interesting news item to discuss in hushed whispers at the local coffee clatch. This is the story of my dear friend Charlotte and her beloved family who have been through a horrifying ordeal while I sit thousands of miles away unable to do anything but think of them constantly, await word...and pray.

People who have heard the news clips and know we are set to leave the dock worry about us. They wonder why we would undertake such a dangerous thing as sailing the seas with our children. As I sit with the realization that my friend has been dealing with the fright of a seriously ill baby and then tragically, has lost the only home she has known for years I can understand the worry but the truth is, many many more families are out sailing with no major issues.

To be sure, every time a friend has a big passage, I worry a little too. Not overly much, but sailors are very aware of the risks involved and also that no matter how carefully you prepare sometimes bad things happen.

 When Tucker and Victoria were on their passage to the Marquesas, my friend Cindy and I would check their progress and be gladdened at every uneventful day. We did the same when Diane and Evan were crossing and when they dropped a rudder, we reassured each other it would be okay- and it was. We watch carefully everytime Behan and Jamie and their kids make another big passage. Thankfully, for the most part it becomes routine. How'd the weather look for them? Good. Any update? Crew happy and healthy? Good. This is what sailing families do. They cross oceans. With kids. And their friends watch from afar and cheer enthusiastically as the share the glorious first photos of landfall, with the kids joyfully discovering the beauties and mysteries of each new port. This is the norm. A little bit of worry, a little bit of cheering as the crews deal with set backs and a huge celebration when the safely pull into port. Watching from afar, helpless to do anything but pray as a boat full of people you truly care about are in harm's way is NOT the norm. It is such an unusual occurrence that there are no helpful books written on how to handle it when your friends have a real crisis. There is also no helpful book telling you how to cope when ignorant and ill informed people paint your friend as evil incarnate as loudly as possible and as in their face as they can get all because they hit the unlucky lottery.

I am trying to remain positive. Its tough when all I want is to hear from Charlotte to know that they are all okay. No need to tell me what happened or why or what you would do differently. Just tell me you are okay and I will tell you how much I love, admire and respect you and offer you support, a smile and encouragement to do what ever you need to do to heal.

Then and only then, can I go back to watching only slightly nervously as another one of our sailing tribe gets ready to make what will most likely turn out to be a very boring passage. Then I can go back to planning out our routing for the fall, ordering up the deck hardware we need to finish the deck layout and choosing our final bits of gear and getting ready to leave. THAT is positive. I am shaken to the core by what my friends have endured but I know that it really is a 1 in 1,000 event.

I am choosing to not react in anger to the ignorance and hate I am seeing thrown around. If anything, its serving as a motivation to get my kids as far away from truly ugly people who would see someone in crisis and make a choice to spew anger, hatred and vitriol all out of complete ignorance. Instead of listening to those who are unenlightened, I choose to surround myself with fellow sailors who understand that the risks are greatly outweighed by the rewards of living a life outside the suburban box. People who understand that life is not measured by breaths but by the moments that take our breath away. Such joy that is ours, they can never comprehend.

In a show of solidarity and love for our fellow sailors on Rebel Heart, I made the video below. I was aided in making this video by a few hundred sailing mamas who shared photos of their children. On boats. Sailing the seas. Discovering the beauty that lies hidden in the world. With their children. They understand. They are my people.