Life is Messy

Let me be upfront and forthright- I hate schedules. Following a schedule invariably causes me unnecessary anxiety and stress because I am firm believer in going with the flow. Unfortunately, if you never set a schedule you'll never get anything done so they are a necessary evil. Cruising should suit me perfectly. The only schedule you have to follow is the one set by weather conditions. So why am I suddenly feeling stress from being behind an imaginary, self imposed schedule? Because there are forces beyond my control at work and truthfully, I enjoy the illusion of having some control over my life. HA!

Which brings me to our departure date. Yep, you guessed it- its moving again. There is just no way we will have everything taken care of in the next 3 months. 8 months is more than likely and that puts us squarely in hurricane season. This is not a time to be far from home with 2 little people on board. I don't feel that I need to leave at a certain date in order to appease the opinions of others but I do feel the need to answer to the weather and the little people who count on us to make the right decisions.

Its difficult because in my mind and soul I am ready to be gone NOW. We've been working towards the goal of leaving for 2 years now and admitting that we need to adjust the calendar one more time is a bitter pill to swallow but in the end, it will be good for us. This is the right decision. Its still hard to take though. The pace of boat projects has slowed down because with daily temperatures hitting over 100 Farenheit its just impossible to "pick up the pace" no matter how badly we wish to do so. We slowly continue to crank out those necessary projects and I try to look at the bright side of the situation. 

Moving the date a bit allows us to work at a humanly possible pace with the knowledge that cooler weather will soon be here bringing with it a much more comfortable working/sailing environment. Mark's job was supposed to have been completed almost a year ago. He continues to work part time which is a very good thing as we have tripled our inital refit budget. He keeps showing up and they keep paying him for which we are actually very, very grateful. So half the week at the office, half the week on the boat and save, save, save those pennies. Maura really wants to complete one last year at the public school. A much as I want to homeschool her now  the best way to prevent her from being wistful about missing public school while cruising is to let her endure the fun that is being a sixth grade girl. Junior high school is the pits, you know it and I know it but she needs to discover this for herself. Kitty is still a wee thing, barely 20 pounds at our last checkup so waiting a bit will mean she is steadier on her feet, stronger and hopefully sleeping through the night (please). We have friends who are hoping to cast off for the Bahamas and points south from the East Coast next fall so by waiting we will have playmates for the kids and since they have a much larger catamaran, a place to stash our wine collection (and some fun peeps to share it with!) These are all great and valid reasons to relax and go with the flow. I still want to leave yesterday though. I've been stationary for too long and when that happens, I get itchy feet.

Wanderlust (n): strong longing for or impulse towards wandering, an ache for distance

Yes, that is the diagnosis.